Way Too Invested

So last night I had a stress dream. I dreamed that it was June 14 and I had gotten the date for the new Harry Potter movie wrong so the premier was that night instead of in a month. It was like seven o'clock that night. I hadn't bought tickets so I got online and did, but I got too many and no one could come because Christian was training at the movie theater for Iron Man 2 and everyone else ignored my texts and then I forgot my sisters. And all this was happening five minutes before the movie was starting, so we were so late (I hate being late to movies; it gives me anxiety. I don't know why). I was so stressed. Then I woke up sick to my stomach stressed and freaking out.

All in all, I'd say I am way to invested/ excited/ worried about this whole Harry Potter Premier thing.

P.S. Notice I'm not "fully invested" :P

The Person You Most Medium Suspect

In the words of Dwight: "When solving a crime remember this: It is never the person you most suspect. It is also never the person you least suspect, because anyone with half a brain would expect them. Therefore, it is always the person you most medium suspect."

This is The Office Clue. I really really really want it, but I already have clue so I can't justify buying it for myself. Maybe someday... I think it is hilarious because of all the inside jokes incorporated. I want it.

These are the weapons. Some of my favorites are a George Foreman Grill, a Dundie, numchucks, a rabid bat, and (my favorite) Mr. A Knife.

Hahahaha Level Mustard.

20 Happy Things

I have a lot of things going for me, and sometimes I forget. So here is a list of things that I have going for me right now.

1. I live with my grandma, and she is amazing (feature to come). I also get to see a lot of my extended family up here in Logan.
2. I am going to start a cooking club with my Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Ben (he will stir) and I am really excited about it. She also helped me start a garden.
3. Only one thing has died in my garden so far.
4. I get to plant flowers next week.
5. Yesterday Bill gave me something similar to a sex talk and informed me of the nature of men. It was a high point in my life.
6. My "Muggle" shirt is on it's way.
7. Next week I don't work every night so I am going to party with Alexis.
8. I have the best rommmates ever. They are some of my best friends and I am so excited for fall.
9. It is warm. Finally.
10. I have red hair. It is really pretty, and I really like it.
11. My blog is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. I just love the design of it.
12. I have some epic adventures planned for the summer, and my cousin Caecee is getting married!
13. I am going to Harry Potter World on my honeymoon. I am really excited about it. Lindsey brought up an excellent point: even if my husband isn't as cool as I am and doesn't love Harry Potter he will still love me. And Lindsey said, if there was a Lord of the Rings Land I would go with Ben even though I don't love it. So yes, we are set. (And yes she doesn't like Lord of the Rings. We love her anyways.)
14. I just skyped (skyscraped) my baby sister Malori. She is hilarious.
15. I have an appointment to get my nails done!
16. Strawberry Days is just around the corner. My Smith blood is rejoicing.
17. I am starting to love work. I really just enjoy it most days. Yesterday my boss (the store manager) called me a machine. I was happy about that.
18. I get to listen to my grandma and uncle talk about the gospel and politics. It always makes my day.
19. I have cute cousins that I get to spend a lot of time with and babysit. There are many pictures to come.
20. Alexis: Sometimes, I think Jim Halpert should be real. And not old. Then I could marry him.
    Me: Umm no. If Jim is real I get to marry him.
    Alexis: Fine, there should be two of them then. Twins maybe. Mine can be Tim.
    Hahahahaha yes.

Benjamin Button In Reverse

Lately I have felt like I am getting very old. Here is why:

1. I have never ever had allergies before, but lately they have been so awful! My eyes itch constantly, my ears itch and get plugged up, and I can't go outside and work in the yard without having my legs and arms itch like crazy for a few hours afterwards.
2. My arm aches something terrible when a storm is coming.
3. I have a yard and garden that is basically mine to do what I want with (it is technically my grandma's, but she doesn't care what I do and just says "do whatever you think will be good" when I ask).
4. I text my family members more than I text anyone else.
5. I work so much, and on the days I don't work I babysit my cute cousin. So it feels like I have a child (just a little bit).
6. I am saving money.
7. I buy stuff for my kids sometimes...
8. I forgot the other reason I had. Yep, old lady.

Bill: Part 2

Today Bill gave my number to some RM that he knows somehow (because really, he knows so many people through really random ways). Ever since he discovered that I am single he has been trying to get me a boyfriend. He went through every available guy that works at Hastings first, and now he is branching out to men he knows from other places. It makes me laugh really hard. Most of his ideas are ridiculous, but it is at least entertaining. And who knows, maybe Bill will introduce me to my future husband (which is a slightly frightening and highly unlikely idea, but it would be a really funny story to tell our kids).

Another time when Bill was jewelry couriering (and yes, according to google chrome that is a word) he was almost robbed. He always carried a revolver because of how high risk his job was, and luckily he had it handy. He was just sitting down in his car and buckling his seat belt when a guy reached into his car and grabbed him. There were two guys, and the other one was standing behind the guy that had reached in to grab him. Bill let his seat belt go so it hit the first guy in the face, grabbed his revolver, and put it behind the first guy's neck so that it was pointed at the second guy. That way if he shot the first guy would be knocked unconscious from the recoil and the second guy would be shot. Then they backed off and he called the police. His story was probably dramatized and the details were probably exaggerated, and you can believe whatever you want. I mostly believe it and I was highly entertained. I like Bill.

Bill: Part 1

Bill is an old(er) man who might as well be an employee at Hastings because he is there more than I am. I am fairly positive he comes in every day. He knows every employee and hangs out in the cafe a lot. He is almost always there when I am (in the evening); it is a rare day when I don't talk to Bill. Bill is a really big tall guy. He isn't fat, but he has gone slightly to seed. He has longish gray hair that's curly and he's balding slightly. He wears jeans and sweatshirts or t-shirts, and he is hilarious. I really wish I was brave enough to ask how old he is.

So I really don't know much of his back story or why he comes into Hastings every day. I think he is mostly lonely; he isn't married and I don't know if he has ever been or if he has children. He has never mentioned any. I don't know his whole story but I do know parts, and what I know is hilarious.

Bill used to be a jewelry courier and would travel up and down the northern half of Utah delivering jewelry to malls, jewelry stores, pawn shops, etc. As you can imagine, this was a very adventurous and slightly dangerous job. Apparently he carried up to three million dollars worth of jewelry at one time with his only precaution being a gun. A revolver in fact. This was in the eighties, but that still all blows my mind. It is entirely possible he is making this all up. I am inclined to believe him, but I am possibly very gullible. You can choose for yourself.

So Bill used to deliver to the same building where Mark Hofmann (if you don't know who that is look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Hofmann) worked and used to see him all the time. He says he never really talked to him besides in passing, and he said he always seemed very crazy in the conversations that he had with him (that was paraphrased for our younger audiences). Bill saw Mark Hofmann the day the bombing happened, and he was driving away from the building when the bombs went off. In his words, he "was a knat's a** away from being blown up," when he heard the boom he floored it, and there was damage done to his car.

I wish I had a picture of Bill to post, but I don't. I won't take a stalker picture because if I was caught it would be the most awkward moment of my life. I even googled old men to see if I could find a picture of someone who resembles him, but I couldn't. My apologies.

Ridiculous Book Feature

It pains me to put this book in conjunction with this post title. The Wheel of Time is my favorite series and is very epic, but the artist for the covers manages to make them look like really bad romance novels. Mr. Sweet is actually highly regarded in the world of fantasy so someone must like his covers (probably his mom), but I do not care for them. So here it is: a mediocre title made a hundred times worse by ridiculous cover art.

Because I am very biased towards the Wheel of Time I felt the need to make up for the ridiculous cover above. Here are some covers (from the eBooks) that match how amazing the books really are. Not to be dramatic and nerdy, but these are quite possibly the coolest pictures you will ever see. Just looking at them makes me fantasize about living in Wheel of Time novels.