Cutting Edge News

This morning I was getting ready, and in that process I was a spaz and got makeup everywhere. It made a cute heart on my fingernail and that made me happy, so I took a (poor quality- thanks Steve) picture. The end. Cool story.

Add this to my Christmas list.

Antoine "Dog"son

Ha! Horrible pun. But I love this picture:

If you missed this whole thing you probably don't have a lot of teenage friends. I think it's hilarious. Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzNhaLUT520

Good One

Here is a conversation I had with an old (very old- white hair old) man today at work.

Elderly Genuis: So are you going to school up here?

Me: Yea, I start again in the fall.

Elderly Genius: What's your major?

Me: I'm undeclared right now. I'm not sure.

Elderly Genius: You could always major in modeling.

Me: Umm, I'm pretty sure that's not a major.

Elderly Genius: Well you have the looks for it.

Me: .... Thanks.

Then I left and shelved audiobooks and felt weird inside.

Benjamin Button In Reverse

Lately I have felt like I am getting very old. Here is why:

1. I have never ever had allergies before, but lately they have been so awful! My eyes itch constantly, my ears itch and get plugged up, and I can't go outside and work in the yard without having my legs and arms itch like crazy for a few hours afterwards.
2. My arm aches something terrible when a storm is coming.
3. I have a yard and garden that is basically mine to do what I want with (it is technically my grandma's, but she doesn't care what I do and just says "do whatever you think will be good" when I ask).
4. I text my family members more than I text anyone else.
5. I work so much, and on the days I don't work I babysit my cute cousin. So it feels like I have a child (just a little bit).
6. I am saving money.
7. I buy stuff for my kids sometimes...
8. I forgot the other reason I had. Yep, old lady.

Confessions: Part 3

-As promised, here are the stalker pictures. The following is part of an inside joke, and is very creepy:

This is courtesy of my roommate Elise. A woman on the bus who looks like Angela Martin:

This is a man in my Political Science class who looks just like Toby Flenderson. Naturally, when there was an empty seat next to him for a review, I swooped. I know it is upside down, but I still think the fact that he didn't notice he got his picture taken by the creepy redhead sitting next to him is impressive.

-I love sleeping. Love it, and I sleep so much. Naps have got to be the best thing ever.

-Having a henna tattoo is on my bucket list. And I got to cross it off. It's fading now, but I still love it. Fire Nation henna:

-I really want to attend the University of Utah at some point. Maybe for my Master's Degree; I think Salt Lake would be a fun place to live as a newly married couple.

-I have a list of books I want to read/ buy in my wallet at all times. I add a book every few days usually, sometimes more.

-I get overly excited about fantasy books. When I find someone who loves them (especially Wheel of Time) I can talk for hours.

-Sometimes I send texts to the "wrong people," patheticville. No offence Pam.

-I anxiously awaited my letter from Hogwarts when I turned eleven. I was pretty disappointed when it never came.

-If my letter ever had come I would have been sorted into Ravenclaw. The best house. I want a house scarf very much. Also I love this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcJ8-qMd400&feature=youtu.be

-I buy so many books. It's a little ridiculous.

-I hate getting hit on. I don't know if they all conspire or they just all think it's funny, but customers at work hit on me so much that it's getting a little crazy. Thank goodness they've all been men.

A Marketing Scheme

At work I have noticed new covers on some of the old classic novels. Some are weird and comic-like and others are just very strange, and at first I didn't like either of them much at all. However, the very strange ones have grown on me and I am so tempted to buy them all, even though I already own many of the books. Bill (a hilarious customer that I will be doing a feature on later) says it's a marketing scheme to sell the old classics to a younger generation. I am being targeted, and it is working. I still think the comic ones are lame, but here are some of the ones that I love:

Confessions:

My first order of business: coming clean. Here comes the long list of confessions.

-I have held to the opinion for a very long time that blogs should only be for married people with children and that all other blogs are really dumb.

-I am a filthy hypocrite (see above).

-These are two of my favorite pictures from one of my favorite days:

-The only Jane Austen novel I have ever read in it's entirety is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Which only partially counts.

-I have purchased things for my children. They are unborn, unconceived, and half of their genetic makeup has yet to be determined, but they have some very cute Disney books.

-I hate dogs. So much. That probably makes me an awful heartless person, but it's true. It's because they smell weird. Cats are okay, but only if they smell like the house.

-I am obsessive about how my hands smell. If they smell weird I can't function and I feel dirty (which is probably why I hate weird-smelling animals).

-I am so weird about smells (which you probably gathered from above). Smell can make or break something for me and is something I pay too much attention to. For example, I can be attracted to someone based completely on how they smell.

-I eat when I'm hungry and I eat just as much as I want to.

-I laugh at my own jokes, all the time.

-I am a complete nerd. I create characters for myself in all my favorite fantasy books, quote Lord of the Rings with all my best friends, and my favorite thing ever is when I randomly quote something and discover a new friend.

-I love babies, and I probably talk about them way too much.

-Sometimes I feel like I am at the maturity level of a twelve year old boy, but I really just can't help the things I giggle at.

-I love saying things just to make people feel awkward or just to be awkward. I love to creep.

-I am pro at stalker pictures and I've only been caught once. Stay tuned for some juicy examples.