Saturday, December 22, 2012

Dream Diary: December 18, 2012

Keira Knightley and Winona Ryder were in a play. And Keira beat the heck out of Winona with a pole.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dream Diary: December 20, 2012

I was with probably five other girls at a summer camp, and there was only one girl there who I know in real life. we got in this huge fight because she stole my doll or something and then pinned me down, wrote on my face with lipstick, and took a picture. In my dream this conclusively proved that the doll was her's and not mine. But because it was mine I was angry and factions formed. Before anything happened an eel came and took us and guided us deep into this mountain and we couldn't turn around until the Goblins and Wargs were going to chase us out. When we saw them we ran and ran and went out this door but it was on a cliff. We locked the door to give us time and this old man was there acting as a guardian of the gate and to call for help he dripped honey stuff down the cliff and we had to rub oil or something on us so we could be light and these little strands of colorful hair could carry us down the cliff. We ran out of oil and the Goblins were banging on the door, but finally the guy he called with the honey came up magical stairs created by the honey and gave us more oil and we slipped away right as the Goblins and Wargs got through the door.

I had been thinking a lot about The Hobbit.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Lady or the Tiger?

I love this story... Even if it is awfully sad for pessimists, and still pretty depressing for optimists.

The Lady or the Tiger? 
Frank Stockton

In the very olden time there lived a semi-barbaric king, whose ideas, though somewhat polished and sharpened by the progressiveness of distant Latin neighbors, were still large, florid, and untrammeled, as became the half of him which was barbaric. He was a man of exuberant fancy, and, withal, of an authority so irresistible that, at his will, he turned his varied fancies into facts. He was greatly given to self-communing, and, when he and himself agreed upon anything, the thing was done. When every member of his domestic and political systems moved smoothly in its appointed course, his nature was bland and genial; but, whenever there was a little hitch, and some of his orbs got out of their orbits, he was blander and more genial still, for nothing pleased him so much as to make the crooked straight and crush down uneven places.
     Among the borrowed notions by which his barbarism had become semified was that of the public arena, in which, by exhibitions of manly and beastly valor, the minds of his subjects were refined and cultured.
     But even here the exuberant and barbaric fancy asserted itself. The arena of the king was built, not to give the people an opportunity of hearing the rhapsodies of dying gladiators, nor to enable them to view the inevitable conclusion of a conflict between religious opinions and hungry jaws, but for purposes far better adapted to widen and develop the mental energies of the people. This vast amphitheater, with its encircling galleries, its mysterious vaults, and its unseen passages, was an agent of poetic justice, in which crime was punished, or virtue rewarded, by the decrees of an impartial and incorruptible chance.
     When a subject was accused of a crime of sufficient importance to interest the king, public notice was given that on an appointed day the fate of the accused person would be decided in the king's arena, a structure which well deserved its name, for, although its form and plan were borrowed from afar, its purpose emanated solely from the brain of this man, who, every barleycorn a king, knew no tradition to which he owed more allegiance than pleased his fancy, and who ingrafted on every adopted form of human thought and action the rich growth of his barbaric idealism.
     When all the people had assembled in the galleries, and the king, surrounded by his court, sat high up on his throne of royal state on one side of the arena, he gave a signal, a door beneath him opened, and the accused subject stepped out into the amphitheater. Directly opposite him, on the other side of the enclosed space, were two doors, exactly alike and side by side. It was the duty and the privilege of the person on trial to walk directly to these doors and open one of them. He could open either door he pleased; he was subject to no guidance or influence but that of the aforementioned impartial and incorruptible chance. If he opened the one, there came out of it a hungry tiger, the fiercest and most cruel that could be procured, which immediately sprang upon him and tore him to pieces as a punishment for his guilt. The moment that the case of the criminal was thus decided, doleful iron bells were clanged, great wails went up from the hired mourners posted on the outer rim of the arena, and the vast audience, with bowed heads and downcast hearts, wended slowly their homeward way, mourning greatly that one so young and fair, or so old and respected, should have merited so dire a fate.
     But, if the accused person opened the other door, there came forth from it a lady, the most suitable to his years and station that his majesty could select among his fair subjects, and to this lady he was immediately married, as a reward of his innocence. It mattered not that he might already possess a wife and family, or that his affections might be engaged upon an object of his own selection; the king allowed no such subordinate arrangements to interfere with his great scheme of retribution and reward. The exercises, as in the other instance, took place immediately, and in the arena. Another door opened beneath the king, and a priest, followed by a band of choristers, and dancing maidens blowing joyous airs on golden horns and treading an epithalamic measure, advanced to where the pair stood, side by side, and the wedding was promptly and cheerily solemnized. Then the gay brass bells rang forth their merry peals, the people shouted glad hurrahs, and the innocent man, preceded by children strewing flowers on his path, led his bride to his home.
     This was the king's semi-barbaric method of administering justice. Its perfect fairness is obvious. The criminal could not know out of which door would come the lady; he opened either he pleased, without having the slightest idea whether, in the next instant, he was to be devoured or married. On some occasions the tiger came out of one door, and on some out of the other. The decisions of this tribunal were not only fair, they were positively determinate: the accused person was instantly punished if he found himself guilty, and, if innocent, he was rewarded on the spot, whether he liked it or not. There was no escape from the judgments of the king's arena.
     The institution was a very popular one. When the people gathered together on one of the great trial days, they never knew whether they were to witness a bloody slaughter or a hilarious wedding. This element of uncertainty lent an interest to the occasion which it could not otherwise have attained. Thus, the masses were entertained and pleased, and the thinking part of the community could bring no charge of unfairness against this plan, for did not the accused person have the whole matter in his own hands?
     This semi-barbaric king had a daughter as blooming as his most florid fancies, and with a soul as fervent and imperious as his own. As is usual in such cases, she was the apple of his eye, and was loved by him above all humanity. Among his courtiers was a young man of that fineness of blood and lowness of station common to the conventional heroes of romance who love royal maidens. This royal maiden was well satisfied with her lover, for he was handsome and brave to a degree unsurpassed in all this kingdom, and she loved him with an ardor that had enough of barbarism in it to make it exceedingly warm and strong. This love affair moved on happily for many months, until one day the king happened to discover its existence. He did not hesitate nor waver in regard to his duty in the premises. The youth was immediately cast into prison, and a day was appointed for his trial in the king's arena. This, of course, was an especially important occasion, and his majesty, as well as all the people, was greatly interested in the workings and development of this trial. Never before had such a case occurred; never before had a subject dared to love the daughter of the king. In after years such things became commonplace enough, but then they were in no slight degree novel and startling.
     The tiger-cages of the kingdom were searched for the most savage and relentless beasts, from which the fiercest monster might be selected for the arena; and the ranks of maiden youth and beauty throughout the land were carefully surveyed by competent judges in order that the young man might have a fitting bride in case fate did not determine for him a different destiny. Of course, everybody knew that the deed with which the accused was charged had been done. He had loved the princess, and neither he, she, nor any one else, thought of denying the fact; but the king would not think of allowing any fact of this kind to interfere with the workings of the tribunal, in which he took such great delight and satisfaction. No matter how the affair turned out, the youth would be disposed of, and the king would take an aesthetic pleasure in watching the course of events, which would determine whether or not the young man had done wrong in allowing himself to love the princess.
     The appointed day arrived. From far and near the people gathered, and thronged the great galleries of the arena, and crowds, unable to gain admittance, massed themselves against its outside walls. The king and his court were in their places, opposite the twin doors, those fateful portals, so terrible in their similarity.
     All was ready. The signal was given. A door beneath the royal party opened, and the lover of the princess walked into the arena. Tall, beautiful, fair, his appearance was greeted with a low hum of admiration and anxiety. Half the audience had not known so grand a youth had lived among them. No wonder the princess loved him! What a terrible thing for him to be there!
     As the youth advanced into the arena he turned, as the custom was, to bow to the king, but he did not think at all of that royal personage. His eyes were fixed upon the princess, who sat to the right of her father. Had it not been for the moiety of barbarism in her nature it is probable that lady would not have been there, but her intense and fervid soul would not allow her to be absent on an occasion in which she was so terribly interested. From the moment that the decree had gone forth that her lover should decide his fate in the king's arena, she had thought of nothing, night or day, but this great event and the various subjects connected with it. Possessed of more power, influence, and force of character than any one who had ever before been interested in such a case, she had done what no other person had done - she had possessed herself of the secret of the doors. She knew in which of the two rooms, that lay behind those doors, stood the cage of the tiger, with its open front, and in which waited the lady. Through these thick doors, heavily curtained with skins on the inside, it was impossible that any noise or suggestion should come from within to the person who should approach to raise the latch of one of them. But gold, and the power of a woman's will, had brought the secret to the princess.
     And not only did she know in which room stood the lady ready to emerge, all blushing and radiant, should her door be opened, but she knew who the lady was. It was one of the fairest and loveliest of the damsels of the court who had been selected as the reward of the accused youth, should he be proved innocent of the crime of aspiring to one so far above him; and the princess hated her. Often had she seen, or imagined that she had seen, this fair creature throwing glances of admiration upon the person of her lover, and sometimes she thought these glances were perceived, and even returned. Now and then she had seen them talking together; it was but for a moment or two, but much can be said in a brief space; it may have been on most unimportant topics, but how could she know that? The girl was lovely, but she had dared to raise her eyes to the loved one of the princess; and, with all the intensity of the savage blood transmitted to her through long lines of wholly barbaric ancestors, she hated the woman who blushed and trembled behind that silent door.
     When her lover turned and looked at her, and his eye met hers as she sat there, paler and whiter than any one in the vast ocean of anxious faces about her, he saw, by that power of quick perception which is given to those whose souls are one, that she knew behind which door crouched the tiger, and behind which stood the lady. He had expected her to know it. He understood her nature, and his soul was assured that she would never rest until she had made plain to herself this thing, hidden to all other lookers-on, even to the king. The only hope for the youth in which there was any element of certainty was based upon the success of the princess in discovering this mystery; and the moment he looked upon her, he saw she had succeeded, as in his soul he knew she would succeed.
     Then it was that his quick and anxious glance asked the question: "Which?" It was as plain to her as if he shouted it from where he stood. There was not an instant to be lost. The question was asked in a flash; it must be answered in another.
     Her right arm lay on the cushioned parapet before her. She raised her hand, and made a slight, quick movement toward the right. No one but her lover saw her. Every eye but his was fixed on the man in the arena.
     He turned, and with a firm and rapid step he walked across the empty space. Every heart stopped beating, every breath was held, every eye was fixed immovably upon that man. Without the slightest hesitation, he went to the door on the right, and opened it.
     Now, the point of the story is this: Did the tiger come out of that door, or did the lady ?
     The more we reflect upon this question, the harder it is to answer. It involves a study of the human heart which leads us through devious mazes of passion, out of which it is difficult to find our way. Think of it, fair reader, not as if the decision of the question depended upon yourself, but upon that hot-blooded, semi-barbaric princess, her soul at a white heat beneath the combined fires of despair and jealousy. She had lost him, but who should have him?
     How often, in her waking hours and in her dreams, had she started in wild horror, and covered her face with her hands as she thought of her lover opening the door on the other side of which waited the cruel fangs of the tiger!
     But how much oftener had she seen him at the other door! How in her grievous reveries had she gnashed her teeth, and torn her hair, when she saw his start of rapturous delight as he opened the door of the lady! How her soul had burned in agony when she had seen him rush to meet that woman, with her flushing cheek and sparkling eye of triumph; when she had seen him lead her forth, his whole frame kindled with the joy of recovered life; when she had heard the glad shouts from the multitude, and the wild ringing of the happy bells; when she had seen the priest, with his joyous followers, advance to the couple, and make them man and wife before her very eyes; and when she had seen them walk away together upon their path of flowers, followed by the tremendous shouts of the hilarious multitude, in which her one despairing shriek was lost and drowned!
     Would it not be better for him to die at once, and go to wait for her in the blessed regions of semi-barbaric futurity?
     And yet, that awful tiger, those shrieks, that blood!
     Her decision had been indicated in an instant, but it had been made after days and nights of anguished deliberation. She had known she would be asked, she had decided what she would answer, and, without the slightest hesitation, she had moved her hand to the right.
     The question of her decision is one not to be lightly considered, and it is not for me to presume to set myself up as the one person able to answer it. And so I leave it with all of you: Which came out of the opened door - the lady, or the tiger?

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Passion Pit/ Imagine Dragons

I love this remix.


So, my bff Brittany posted a list of questions on her blog. And I love random questions and lists, they are two of my favorite things.

  1. What flavor of jam is your favorite? Raspberry. My mom makes it and it's delicious. 
  2. If you were given the chance to either attend Hogwarts or Star Fleet Academy what would you choose? ..... Hogwarts. Always. 
  3. Who would win in a fight, Liam Neeson or Chuck Norris? Liam Neeson, he has a lightsaber. 
  4. What is your favorite song? Right now... Demons by Imagine Dragons. All time... Starlight by Muse.
  5. What is you favorite part of Disneyland? Fantasy Land. I love all the little kid rides, and I always love carousels.
  6. On a scale of 1 to Betty Crocker, how good of a cook are you? Well... I love to bake and Martha Stewart is my idol. I'd say I'm a pretty good cook. 
  7. What is your favorite book and why? ... Oh my impossible. I love Harry Potter and The Wheel of Time though- those are my top two. And yes, whole series count as books when people ask you for your favorite. 
  8. Summarize yourself in five words. Nerdy. Red-headed. Bibliophile. Spoilee and Spoiler. 
  9. Name three things that frighten you? Sharks... Bilbo's Gollum face... failing a class... or life. 
  10. How good are you at karate? I could really use a defense course and upper body strength. 
  11. What is your favorite thing about blogging? I like using it instead of facebook because people who read this actually want to hear more than the occasional tidbit about my life. 
Answers from you now, please? 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Today is election day. Gah. Some people say it doesn't matter a whole lot who we elect because of the partisan warfare we all know and love... but I think it matters. At least a little. I watched the news today and Obama and Romney are still campaigning today, which is apparently unprecedented. Obama was calling people in Ohio. They were waiting for Romney to get off the plane. So it matters to them at least. Personally, I love Ron Paul and Libertarianism (like every other college student, his ideas would never work in America, he's crazy, etc. I've heard it all), but I do hope Romney wins today. We'll see...

This is the picture for November from my calendar... and I think it's fitting. Underneath it says "In times like these, it helps to remember there have always been times like these." -Paul Harvey. 

Day 6

November Photo Challenge Day 6- A Favorite Thing: 
This is my Sheldon Cooper poster my friend Christian gave me for my birthday. The Big Bang Theory is one of my favorite shows and he's one of my favorite fictional characters. Also, you can see my cat and chainsaw Halloween card my sister Malori sent me and a fairy card my Aunt Kris sent me. Those are another two of my favorite things. 

Day 5

November Photo Challenge Day 3- five o'clock:
I didn't do this yesterday at five, so really this is 2:45 PM on November 6. But I'm pretty sure that's what my floor looked like yesterday at five too. 

Day 4

November Photo Challenge Day 4- TV:
This is my TV in my room. It's pretty great. Also, I do know how to spell my name, but my tiny cousins don't. 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Day 3

November Photo Challenge Day 3- Breakfast:
Don't worry, I had a string cheese too.

Day 2

November Photo Challenge Day 2- Color:
This is my favorite colorful pot.

Day 1

I'm behind a few days, but here is my attempt to begin blogging again to satisfy popular demand. Ha. Not really. Just for Madi :)

November Photo Challenge Day 1- Something Beginning With "C": 
Cute and cranky children. Yay for alliteration! They really do like me and are lots more bubbly when the camera and tv are off. Really. They're adorable. 

Friday, January 6, 2012


Here are the happenings of my winter break in a close approximation of chronological order:

I missed my math final, which resulted in an emotional breakdown at work, but miraculously I passed with a C.

I worked and worked and worked and had lots of fun with my coworkers.

My cousins Sophia and Olivia came into my work and I got to hug them and see their cute faces for the first time in a long time.

I watched a lot of Friends (which was a constant throughout the break).

I read one of the best books ever- A Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. Such epic high fantasy books are rare- it made me cry. It was such a great read.

I went home on Christmas Eve and I got to see Malori and the rest of my family. I was the happiest I've been in a long long time.

Cora had George Washington hair.

I was hated by children in church on Christmas.

Malori gave me a mini bottle of apple cider and it was the sweetest thing in the world.

Gretchen got a cell phone and cried.

I saw my whole Bullock and Smith families for the first time in forever and held my new baby cousin Avery.

I went to a family party and had so much fun playing basketball. Brian fouled me big time. It was such a fun game- I made a shot!

I saw Sherlock Holmes 2- it was really really good. I delayed at Old Navy to get on-sale sweaters, so we ended up on the fourth row. Cora just about killed me, but the sweaters were worth it.

I played Just Dance 3 with my sisters.

I watched the Smurfs with Malori- "I kissed a smurf and I liked it!"

Gretchen and Malori recorded so many videos of themselves being weird on my iPod Touch. Now I have something to remember them by.

I went to a Christmas party and saw my old friends and got the most awesome/ messed up watering can ever (which I will post a picture of in a later post because I am too lazy to take one at the moment). Also Evan and I had the same sweater on- it was really cute.

I went to get my fish from my grandma's, and Olivia and Phin were a little obsessed with them. It was adorable. Olivia kept on asking if she could eat the pebbles in the bottom of the glass, and saying "can't we eat that fish?"

I made a total mess of my house. Then I sat in the midst of the mess and watched Friends.

I beat my friend Mackay at Lord of the Rings Risk. Really I was just happy to find someone to play with.

I almost killed our fish Cathy Jane Bennet when transferring her back into her bowl. Luckily my heart is full of love and I was able to control my gag reflex enough to grab her out of the drain and drop her back into her bowl.

I went and had a fabulous New Years at my BRF's (best roommate forever) Brittany's house in Ogden. I made coconut chex and played just dance (and laughed hysterically at Mackay dancing) and quizzed each other with Harry Potter Trivia cards and watched funny videos on youtube, and I got to hang out with her and her family all the next day too. It was just such a great stay- I had the best time.

When I finally started to clean my house I turned on the garbage disposal and a popcorn kernel flew out and lodged itself in my nostril. I laughed for several minutes after I got over the shock.

A bug's shadow was reflected onto my ceiling at six in the morning, and it was a very, very creepy dust mite spider bug. I was robbed of comfort and peace of mind. I'm still itchy.

I almost died from the bleach fumes when I tried to clean my bathroom.

I got my hair cut, and I got bangs (little wispy side bangs). We'll see how it grows on me (haha, get it? ).

I went to Kneaders with my Grandma- I have missed the turkey bacon avacado sandwich so much.

While reflecting I have remembered/ realized that I am so very very lucky to have the friends, family, and sisters that I do. I wish I could always spend as much time with my family as I have this month- I miss them very much and I love them even more. Have I mentioned how awesome and funny they all are?

Also, tomorrow I am spending the day with some of my Owens family and I am really excited. 

Here are some of the very few pictures (and by very few I mean twenty nine) I took over the break. I put them all in one lump, as per not usual, because they are basically of Christmas Eve/ Christmas and have nothing to do with most of my chronological events.